In the land of Twilight

The day before my father died, after we did all we could at the hospice, my brother and husband and I went to see Batman Begins.

We loved it, of course. Sounds like many people online are in agreement.
I am surprised though, that no one has mentioned how man-pretty the scarecrow was.

We also picked up my bridesmaid dress for jess_roqs, and it was a lot prettier in person, and fit pretty well. I took a picture to show her later.

The day my father died, Lea called me from texas, and we chatted for a while, before I finally went to sleep around 2am. It was a lovely surprise, and will be a dear thing to remember. We talked about death, life, art and children, and tears like large kittens rolling down my face.

The day after my father died was Father's day, and while I felt no specific compulsion to mourn the day, I did have a hard time missing my father. I drew a copic fish for my grandpa, to symbolize the fishing license my mom and here sister were buying him. We ate all that food that I had ordered from Ohio for my father. The ribs were wonderful, tender and with a sweet sauce, the skyline chili was awesome over the spagetti, and the Graeter's icecream was fantastic, especially the raspberry chocolate chip. The ice cream was a dark purple, and had large chunks of darker chocolate inside, fantastic.

Yesterday, we finalized things with the funeral home, http://www.866allfaiths.com , and ordered some flowers for the casket. (tropical leaves, bamboo, delphiniums, bells, purple heather, and yellow star shaped flowers). I also, finally finished outlining my book, Shroud. Now the rewrite! Then Becca did my hair, my hair is now dark red, and feathered a bit around my face.

Today, we plan on shopping for appropriate clothing for the marathon visitation tomorrow night. (2-4, 6-8) and for the funeral(thursday 10-12). My mother has decided, we will not wear black.

There is much sadness, but not too much regret, we got a lot of closure. The biggest pain is of course, the ongoing absence of such a fantastic, well-read, compassionate man that was my father. The obituary we wrote is online here : http://www.866allfaiths.com/obituary.aspx?MemberId=8922
Also, family is starting to arrive, my cousin Abby will be here at 2.

I'm really out of it today. I struggled with some art last night. (copics making inks smear. :P)

Also, last night my father was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, for a great deal of pain, most likely due to the cancer in his spine. He got a morphine drip last weekend, and had the dosage upped yesterday, but it still wasn't enough to moderate the pain, and they were having trouble getting him into the car because it hurt so much to move they had to call the ambulance. My mother and brother spent most of the night waiting to get him admitted in the emergency room, and then some sort of scan to see if there's a tumor or something pressing on his sciatica or something similar.

Anyway, this weekend is Father's Day. Our gift to dad is an order from here:
http://www.montgomeryinn.com/onlinecatalog/combinationpacks.html
We ordered the Super Cincinatti Pack

Four full slabs of ribs, four bottles of barbecue sauce, four cans of Skyline Chili with a box of Skyline Oyster Crackers. PLUS four pints of Graeter's Ice Cream - Black Raspberry Chip, Chocolate Chip, Chocolate MINT Chip and Vanilla.

Hope the order comes in time, should arrive Friday.

My whole family was born in Ohio, and we really wanted to give Dad a taste of 'home'. We've lived here in wisconsin since I was in 2nd grade, but every time we visit Ohio, we always make sure to take some time to visit a Skyline or Cincinatti Chili. mmm coneys.

Anyway. That's what's going on here.

I'm having a hard time focusing today. This stress, and normal stupid girly hormonal stress. I just want to go back to bed. Last night I said, to my husband, "I'm escaping as hard as I can, and it's just not working".

I'll likely swing by the hospital tonight.

Edit: The CT scan didn't show any visible reason for his pain, so they're going to send him to a Hospice to try to get his pain under control, and then send him home in a couple days. So, that's where I'll likely be tonight.
Edit2:4:30, and they're just now transfering him out to fitchburg. Sounds like my Aunt and Uncle are back in town, perhaps with my other uncle or my cousin joe? It's nice to have family near.