the days pass(where did last month go)

Just a few random notes. What's been going on. 

• I'm alive, but have been super sick for over a week. Feeling substantially better, but not completely well today.
• As a result, I am a bit stir crazy and my house is a mess.
• My mother is getting married on Friday. I feel a variety of different things about this. (final tally: Positive)
• I met a guy who wants to keep me, but I'm not quite ready for that yet. (he has read my comic!)
• I think I'm attracted to emotionally unavailable men. (the aforementioned guy is not one, but may be a good change in direction.)
• It's hard to separate being sick from being depressed. A lot of the end result is the same, mostly lying around and sleeping.
• When I am physically sick, I become less kind and patient internally, and generally think more depressive thoughts.
• I had a job interview last monday, I think it went well. I'm ready for regular work now.
• I have some anxiety over bills, insurance, leftover tax stuff and money these days. Again, focused around jobbiness.
• I want to thrive, not just survive, and don't feel like I'm really doing either right now.

What would make me feel better now?

• shower
• take books over to half price, exchange for credit/basically free retail therapy. It also gets them out of my living room. I have more to go through, but two boxes gone would feel like progress.
• brownies
• groceries
• eating something somewhere outside of my apartment (stircrazy)
• being well (working on that one)
• maybe some art or mass effect 2 (been too sick for either all week)

What would make me feel better longterm?

• Steady employment. Editing, Web work, illustration, even a combination for now.
• A fulfilling career in something i'm really made for and can be happy with
• a clean and organized house
• a fun, happy, and healthy romantic relationship
• finish more comic pages for Tribute, I always feel better when I do art.

p.s. missing bloodlossgirl  and bleaknimue  like crazy. (and all my girls, and everyone, I hate being sick and missing all the fun things and hanging out and art)