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Apr. 10th, 2003 04:18 pmSometimes I wonder why I even bother caring for some people. I try to be nice, show them I miss them, that I notice when it seems like they are down, and I get labeled annoying. I try to be intrested in what they like, how they are doing.
It's so frustrating that I've only ever tried to be nice to some people, and I get kicked to the curb for not being part of some ambigious group.
Damn me for me for being generally happy, damn you for being cynical. Obviously my friendship is just plain wasted on some people and it hurts only me, because I try to care, and be nice, and hold my tongue, and even defend these people.
and the worst part is, I still care, dammit, it's like I have all the characteristics of being the woman who gets battered, and comes back for more. I'm so blessed that I ended up with a decent man, who doesn't do those things to me, or I'd be in big trouble.
I don't know what to say, I must just be in your way, I must just be some annoying bitch to you, and I totally don't understand it. I just don't get it at all.
I'm home sick today, still dizzy, have no clue where that came from, but it made it really hard to enjoy figure drawing class, glad maciek was there to help me focus, and make me drink water.
It's so frustrating that I've only ever tried to be nice to some people, and I get kicked to the curb for not being part of some ambigious group.
Damn me for me for being generally happy, damn you for being cynical. Obviously my friendship is just plain wasted on some people and it hurts only me, because I try to care, and be nice, and hold my tongue, and even defend these people.
and the worst part is, I still care, dammit, it's like I have all the characteristics of being the woman who gets battered, and comes back for more. I'm so blessed that I ended up with a decent man, who doesn't do those things to me, or I'd be in big trouble.
I don't know what to say, I must just be in your way, I must just be some annoying bitch to you, and I totally don't understand it. I just don't get it at all.
I'm home sick today, still dizzy, have no clue where that came from, but it made it really hard to enjoy figure drawing class, glad maciek was there to help me focus, and make me drink water.
